Me

 Assalamualaikum. 

Hai, hope you will come back and read this.

We always have hopes for better life, mungkin more towards emotional way. I do have hopes, but i am not sure sama ada i have faith. I have no energy to imagine good things. When it always come with disappointments. Aku tahu there is always hikmah, either this is the way god try to save me or He want to grant me something big later on.

Years, well 24 years not that long, but it feels like a loop, with no end. I always try to run, and use distractions to make my mind stay sane. You know is not good being sad all the time. 

But i think, sad is me. Blue is me. Starting to believe my name is meant to be penyesalan, people arounds, will always menyesal is it. 

Hai. Im not sure what will comes. I dont dare to picture happiness in coming years. I dont dare. To many heart breaks, too many scars with new wounds.

 

Little things matters, big things matters. I always question why, i have feelings, when all i can sense is numb. 

Dear me, are you fine now? hope you fine, because now we are reaching the breaking point, that may lead us to disappear? From people, lets live with 3 cats, and enjoying their purss. Lets run to North pole? we can make friends with polar bear? Or found a dinosaur skeleton? 

I dont have strength, i hope you gain it, somedays.. maybe. 

You know life is tough, maybe theres other with tougher life. Well, ours is tough too, and rough. Sandpaper is smoother. 

Hello, we are not fine. Admit it. We messed up. Life is no fun. And ya, never expect one. It will never be fun, never. Expect disappointment, so you ready to take it. Ha ha.

I cannot la, this is tiring. Really hoping better l, but no. If i have a chance to reset all, i dont even want to come out from mak womb. Let me dead or what.

I dont know, hope you are there. Living the dreams. That might never come true.. 

wasalam

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